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Pre-K to Grade 3 parenting education and family engagement
With a need for family connections and parenting education as children transition into elementary school, Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE) offers classes, workshops, and parent resources for families with children from preschool through early elementary school years.
Parenting education and family engagement can:- Connect families with resources at their child's school.
- Provide information and support to families through family events, parenting workshops, and one-on-one support as needed.
- Support schools and families in working together to help students be successful in school and at home.
Ask your question today.
Free, parenting resources
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Parenting workshops
Parenting is hard. We are here to support you with workshops on some of today's most important topics.
The Power of Positive Discipline
We know children need discipline and guidance, but do we implement it in a way that is actually helpful? During this workshop, we will discuss important topics such as:
- How to teach your child acceptable behaviors in a way that is firm, yet kind.
- Why positive discipline methods help families have more peace and less stress.
- How you and your child can create a calm-down space at home. - Discipline methods that teach self-respect, cooperation, and problem-solving skills.
Two sessions to choose from:
Tue., Oct. 24 - 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Online
OR
Tue., Oct. 24 - 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. at Monroe Elementary School in Brooklyn Park (Note: this workshop is an adult-only event - no child care is available.)NEW DATE ADDED!
Tue., Nov. 7 - 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Online
Our kids are experiencing big feelings! Temper tantrums are happening, and as adults, we are at a loss on how to help our children calm down and express their feelings safely. Join us as we:
- Define what self-regulation is and why it is important.
- Explore the developmental stages of regulation.
- Examine what behaviors are age-appropriate.
- Discuss strategies to help yourself and your child self-regulate.
Two sessions to choose from:
Thurs., Nov. 30 - 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Online
OR
Thurs., Nov. 30 - 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. at Mississippi Elementary School in Coon Rapids (Note: this workshop is an adult-only event - no child care is available.)
Life is stressful, then to top it off, we have extra stressors that come with dealing with a pandemic and now navigating life with extra obstacles. As overworked and overscheduled parents and children, we’re all susceptible to stress and anxiety.
Join us as we:
- Identify things that can cause stress for adults and children.
- Discuss tips to help you manage your own stress/anxiety
- Learn to understand and reduce your child’s stress/anxiety.
- Tools/Items you could add to create a calm-down kit for your child.
Two sessions to choose from:
Tues., Jan 23 - 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Online
OR
Tues., Jan 23 - 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Online
Registration opens Wed., Nov. 29 at 8 a.m.
In our world today, you need to be able to communicate with family members, friends, caregivers, co-workers, and your child’s teachers. Why is it that sometimes when you make a request for a task to be completed, it never gets done? Communication is a two-way street. It involves listening as much as it involves talking. With school conferences approaching, join us as we:
- Explore the different ways to communicate.
- Learn the 5 qualities of effective communication.
- Problem solve barriers to effective communication.
- Learn ways to advocate for your child.
Two sessions to choose from:
Thurs., Feb. 8 - 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Online
OR
Thurs., Feb. 8 - 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Online
Registration opens Wed., Nov. 29 at 8 a.m.
How to talk so kids will listen, and Listen so kids will talk
When talking to our children, the information often goes in one ear and out the other. If you struggle to communicate with your child or want to strengthen your relationships at home, this workshop can help! During our discussion, we’ll answer such questions as:
- What can I do to get my child to open up and talk to me?
- How can I set firm rules or limits without hurting our relationship?
- How can we learn to understand each other better?
- How can I resolve my family conflicts peacefully?
Two sessions to choose from:
Tue., Mar. 26 - 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Online
OR
Tue., Mar. 26 - 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Online
Registration opens Wed., Nov. 29 at 8 a.m.
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Recorded parenting workshops
View the following videos that may be of interest to you and your family:
- How to Support your Child's Learning
- Managing Disappointments
- Resolving Conflict
- Digital Well-Being
- Fostering Children's Mental and Emotional Well-Being
- Managing Stress and Anxiety
- Setting Up Structure and Routines for School Success
- Healthy Body, Healthy You
- Positive Discipline and Setting Limits
- Parenting Styles and Decision Making
- Fostering Self Esteem
- Developing Respect and Caring in Children
- Responsibility and Independence
- Balancing Work and Family Life
- Understanding Emotions
- Strengthening Sibling Relationships
- Structure and Routines
- Managing Anger
Take home tips
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Outdoor activities to enjoy during the summer
According to the CDC, going outside can improve your overall health and wellness. Fresh air and sunshine give our bodies Vitamin D, helps elevate our moods, increases our likeliness of physical activity, and can help with concentration. However, sometimes making plans to do activities outdoors can feel overwhelming.
Here is a list of some activities to enjoy while having quality time with your family.
- Go on a nature scavenger hunt.
- Build sandcastles.
- Do some stargazing.
- Paint with water. The best part is, no clean-up! Once it dries, you can paint something new!
- Make leaf prints.
- Put a leaf on the ground. Put a piece of paper on top of the leaf and rub a crayon over it.
- Have a picnic.
- Gaze at the clouds. Try and see if you can see a shape!
- Play nature tic tac toe.
- Find 5 of the same object to represent X’s and 5 objects to represent O’s. For example, 5 rocks and 5 leaves.
- Grow a garden. Observe and chart the growth of your plant.
- After a rainy day, make a splash!
- Put some rain boots on, find some puddles and see who can make the biggest splash.
- Do some yoga in a garden.
- Start a rock collection.
- Pick up trash at a nearby park.
- Have a bicycle/toy wash.
- Watch a sunset.
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Setting Limits for Positive Discipline
When you set limits for your children, you demonstrate your love and concern. Setting limits tells a child, “I care about you, I want you to be safe. I want you to act responsibly so that you will learn to get along happily with others.”
What limits should I set?
Carefully select the limits you think are necessary and, as much as possible, consider the child's point of view. The limits set should
- Protect children from physical harm
- Protect property
- Protect children and others from psychological harm
Limit your limits
Before you set a limit, ask yourself: “Is this rule really important? Am I willing to deal with the conflicts that will occur if my child disregards the limit?” Your rules should reflect your deeply held convictions or values, ones that you are committed to keeping. Parents who set too many rules can overwhelm their children with too many demands. You are more likely to be effective if you focus on those rules you believe are most important.
Set reasonable limits
You also need to consider whether your children are able to do what is expected of them. It is not reasonable, for example, to demand that toddlers keep their rooms clean or to expect boisterous 10-year-olds to always remember their mealtime manners. Forbidding a child to wet the bed during the night is unreasonable at any age because children have no control over their bladders while they sleep. Denying a child the right to experience emotions such as anger and fear may be unreasonable because these feelings are often natural, healthy responses to difficult situations. You can judge whether a limit is unreasonable by observing the way your children act. They may try their best but still fail, or they may show no sign of being able to perform the task. With this in mind, set limits so your children can succeed. Then gradually raise your expectations so they can continue to be successful.
Be clear and positive
State your limits clearly and simply. A clear limit tells a child exactly what is expected and when. If you tell your grade-schooler: “Every night, right after supper, you are to take the garbage, put it in the trash can outside, and make sure the lid is closed,” your child knows exactly what to do. In contrast, saying “Clean up everything after supper” is vague. Your child may not know exactly what is expected. Limits will also be more effective if they emphasize the possible — if they tell a child what to do rather than what not to do. To give your child a better understanding of what is allowed as well as what the limits are, say “Play in the yard, not in the street” instead of just saying “Don't go in the street.”
When children become angry and act destructively, parents are likely to think first of negative limits:
“Don't talk to me like that!” “Don't hit your brother!” “Don't throw things!” But children also need positive limits to help them deal with their emotions. Besides the “don'ts,” a parent might also say, “When you get angry, tell me how you feel — say you're angry!” This shows a child another way of handling anger.
Be consistent
Limits must be consistently applied and enforced. Children are more likely to respect limits when they realize their parents mean what they say. If you expect your children to wash their hands before meals, you must maintain this limit every day. If you tell your children not to play in a neighbor's yard, it must be clear that this limit applies every time they are outside. However, limits can, and should, be revised if circumstances change. Consistent limits are dependable. They provide security and direction for children. A child's respect for parents and for authority, in general, is likely to diminish if parents keep changing the rules and are inconsistent in enforcing limits. Once a limit is set, the child should know clearly when it applies.
Let children help set limits
The ultimate goal in setting limits is to help children develop self-control and self-direction. You can show confidence in your children's abilities by talking with them about problems and by encouraging them to suggest guidelines for their own behavior. By involving your children in setting limits, you are more likely to gain their cooperation in following the rule. Letting children help set their own limits also provides them with experience and practice in decision making.
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Teaching your child how to cope with anger
Here are some helpful tips to teach your children how to cope with anger:
1. DO recognize and acknowledge your child’s feelings. If you validate your child’s feelings, then your child doesn’t need to defend those feelings and is less likely to respond in anger. Acknowledging feelings causes your child’s anger to soften and leaves a safe space in which they can learn empathy and coping skills.
2. DO practice empathy. By listening to your child’s feelings without interruption or defense, you create space for your child’s anger to dissipate, as they no longer need to use up energy defending the fairness of their position. The consistency of your open reception to your child’s anger teaches them to react less emotionally and more critically.
3. DO teach your children problem-solving skills. Neurological tracking occurs when children creatively problem-solve. The more children practice and rehearse problem-solving rather than emotional reacting, the more their neurological pathways assist them in controlling their impulses.
4. DO establish clear standards for acceptable and unacceptable behavior. This means that though we want to validate all our child is feeling, allowing those emotions does not translate into the acceptance of bad behavior. There are common rules of engagement which include: no hitting, throwing, breaking objects, or disrespect.
5. DO teach your child relaxation methods. By teaching children progressive relaxation, breathing techniques, and other self-managing tools for stress, they can calm themselves down when confronted with anger.
6. DO try a “time in” instead of a “time out.” As the parent, you are your child’s main guide in life, and as their guide, they rely on you to be there with them through their emotional experience, whatever that may be. Therefore, no time out, no isolation. Instead, try a “time in” — sit with your child and incorporate other methods mentioned in this post: work on breathing with them, ask them questions about their feelings.
7. DO teach your children to recognize anger cues. If children can self-monitor, they can self-manage. By recognizing the feelings that accompany anger, children can recognize the onset of those emotions. This gives them time in which to self-manage before they are caught in the chaos of emotion.
8. DO teach your children how to bring their feelings to consciousness. By recognizing the emotions that drive their behavior, children can learn to skillfully manage that behavior. Writing, drawing, and painting are wonderful ways to express the issues that are bothering children, especially if they have trouble verbalizing their emotions.
9. Do invest your child in the process of managing their anger. Ask your children to give you some tips on how they could positively manage their emotions. Make a list of five actions they can take — such as breathing deeply for one minute or drawing a picture — and leave the list somewhere your child can see it, such as their bedroom door or on your refrigerator door.
10. DO bond with your child. A well-bonded child can learn to cope and manage his or her emotions, to problem-solve, to process, and to stick with a problem until it is resolved. They are also more adventuresome and will creatively explore different options as solutions to problems. A well-bonded child feels like they can depend on parents.
In the end, remember that you, as the parent, make all the difference. By following these tips, you can help strengthen your relationship.
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Empowering your child through struggle
It is normal to want to help when you see your child struggle trying to accomplish something. You may find yourself wanting to alleviate that stress and complete the task for your child.
However, this adds more stress on yourself and your child misses out on a learning opportunity. Teach your child to embrace the struggle. Here are some strategies to empower your child to continue to work through the struggle.
- Validate your child’s feelings.
- Ask your child what you can do to offer support.
- Guide your child to the answer, instead of providing the answer.
- Ask open-ended questions. For example, “What do you think might happen if we try this?” Use the 5 W’s: Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How.
- Shift your child’s attention to where the answer or strategy is located. For example, “Let’s reread the last paragraph and see if the answer is there.”
- If your child is still struggling, provide the answer but make sure to explain your thinking and how you came up with the answer.
- Boost your child’s confidence by assigning age-appropriate tasks to set your child up for success.
- Remind your child of past struggles. How long did it take before reaching success? Did it take one time or multiple times?
- Focus on the positive. Ask how it felt after your child persevered through a previous struggle?
- Acknowledge how your child is feeling after accomplishing success. Join in on the celebration!
- Always encourage the process that is being learned versus the outcome of getting the correct answer.
- Validate your child’s feelings.
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Why sleep is important
Research demonstrates that children who get more sleep:
• Have higher grade averages
• Perform better in reasoning and mathematical skills
• Have higher reading scores
• Experience fewer accidents
• Get along with others better
• Focus better
• Get sick less frequently
• Are less likely to be overweightHow much sleep do children need?
• Children 5-6 years old: 11-12 hours
• Children 7-11 years old: 10-11 hours
• Adults: 8.5 hoursModel Schedule
• Children thrive when they are getting the sleep they need every day.
• The more consistent the schedule, the easier slipping into sleep.
• Try to maintain the same schedule seven days a week.Tips for Bedtime
• Have a predictable routine each night (snack, teeth, toileting, pajamas, one book, song, story or back rub).
• Bedtime should be able the same time seven days a week (no more than an hour different on the weekends).
• If a child’s bath excites him/her, avoid bathing at bedtime.
• Do not have a TV or computer in the bedroom.
• Limit screen time (TV, video games, computer) to 30-60 minutes a day. Do not allow screen time in the evening before bed.
• Take time to connect at bedtime. A calm child falls asleep more easily and stays asleep.
Download pdf
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Math around the home
Practicing math skills can be fun and easy for children. There are many things in your home that will encourage children to love Math and, at the same time, improve basic math skills.
Bath Time
- Ask your child how you might measure the water in the bathtub.
- Allow them to play with plastic gallon jugs, cups, liters, and measuring spoons.
- Use foam numbers that stick to the wall when wet.
In the Kitchen
- Have your child help put away groceries. They will be working on sorting skills by sorting the groceries
into different categories and putting them in their place. - Have your child compare items by weight and amount.
- Make cookies! It is an excellent way to develop an understanding of measurement.
- Have your child spread shaving cream on a mat on the table. He or she can practice writing numbers.
In the Living Room
- Teach your child to recognize different times of the day on a clock.
- Have your child find and identify all the shapes he or she can find in the living room.
- Play card games. There are many math concepts in card games such as War, Solitaire, and Kings Corner.
- Makeup math songs and sing them with your child. Almost any song can be a math song.
- Read aloud books with math concepts included such as:
- Ten Black Dots by Donald Crews
- Hidden Figures by Winifred Conkling
- Measuring Penny by Loreen Leedy
Other spaces
- Have your child help sort the laundry. Practice counting by 2’s when sorting all the socks!
- Count various household objects like silverware, toys, or even cars driving by.
- Create maps of your home. This is a great activity to do when creating your fire emergency plan.
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Taking time for yourself
Tips to remember:
- Commit to caring for yourself. Take responsibility to develop your own unique talents, skills, and mind.
- Maintain your health so you can enjoy your child in the future.
- Create time instead of expecting to find the time. Decide what is important and make time for these things.
- Take control of your time. Be intentional about what you do with your time and use it well.
- Find humor every day. Laughter and humor lighten your mood and attitude.
- Say “No.” Don’t waste your time doing things that you don’t want to be doing.
- Evaluate why you do what you do. Is it because it’s important or does someone else expect it?
- Play – Dream – Enjoy life! Make a list of things you have always wanted to do.
- Find your own special place that you can dream and be nurtured, even if it is only in your imagination. Go there often!
- Start each day with a positive attitude and affirm yourself for what you are doing well.
- Get away from your work, whether it’s at home or away from home. You don’t have to get everything done today – it will be waiting for you tomorrow!
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Teaching children about digital citizenship
Teaching about digital citizenship is teaching your child how to interact within the online world. These skills will help your child be more successful in navigating through a high-paced digital world. Below are ways to teach your child about digital citizenship:
- Discuss the importance of not sharing passwords or personal information with anyone online.
- Manage your child’s downloaded applications. Check the privacy settings. Pay attention to location sharing, in-app purchases and who can view the posts.
- Discuss how your child should not talk to strangers with anyone online. If your child has not met that person face to face, then that person is a stranger.
- Help your child understand the consequences of putting things online. Once something is uploaded, it stays online forever. It can leave a permanent digital footprint, even if deleted.
- Explain the importance of treating others online with respect and kindness, as if that person was standing right next to your child.
- Encourage your child to be upstanding. Don’t stir up trouble, be a force of good. Peers sticking up for other peers is the best defense against cyberbullying.
- If your child is going to share someone else’s work, make sure the information being shared is accurate and that your child knows how to cite where that information came from.
- Create a technology safety plan (like a fire safety plan). Who will your child go to when something makes him/her feel sad, scared or uncomfortable? What should your child do in that moment?
- Monitor your child’s media use. It's OK to check, but it’s best to let your child know that you will be doing this. Always make sure to follow up with a chat about what you find -- or don't find. If your child makes a mistake, discuss better choices moving forward. The goal is to help your child make good choices on their own.
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Promoting perseverance
Perseverance is when someone continues to work on a task, even when it gets difficult. This skill is something that we are not born with but needs to be encouraged and modeled. Consider some strategies to help build perseverance in your child:
- Let your child make mistakes.
- See mistakes as opportunities to learn.
- Point out when you make mistakes, how you feel and what you are going to do to fix that mistake.
- Help your child realize that everyone makes mistakes but what is important is to keep trying.
- Share a story of when you had to persevere. Discuss what parts were challenging, what or who helped you and what steps did you take to overcome that challenge?
- Break up a big task into small, achievable tasks.
- Praise your child’s effort.
- Read stories about perseverance.
- Ruby’s Wish by Shirin Yim Bridges
- A Beautiful Oops by Barney Saltzberg
- Leo the Late Bloomer by Robert Kraus
- The Curious Garden by Peter Brown
- The Salt in His Shoes by Delores Jordan & Roselyn Jordan
- Encourage your child to stop saying can’t. Instead encourage them to say, “I can’t do it, YET.”
- Do activities that encourage your child to persevere when given a setback. Ex: building blocks, puzzles, games like Sorry, Trouble, Chutes and Ladders, Candyland.
- Let your child make mistakes.
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Establishing routines
Structure helps children feel safe and secure, develop responsibility, and stay organized. Establishing a predictable and consistent routine is a great way to provide structure to a child’s day.
Routine chartsCreate routine charts WITH your children. Start with a bedtime routine. Ask your child to tell you everything he or she needs to do to get ready for bed. If your child is too young to write, take dictation.- Children love having pictures of themselves doing each task so they can paste the picture next to the task. Let your child hang the routine chart where he or she can see it.
- When your child forgets, ask: "What is next on your routine chart?"
- Involving your child in the creation of a routine chart will help instill a sense of belonging and significance, reduce power struggles, and increase a willingness to follow through.
No rewards!
Rewards take away from the inner feeling of capability and change the focus to getting. When your child gets tired of the chart, help them make another one. Help your child create a morning routine chart to avoid morning hassles.
- Children love having pictures of themselves doing each task so they can paste the picture next to the task. Let your child hang the routine chart where he or she can see it.
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Setting up a learning space for success
Even if you have a small space, you can still create a successful learning area. Consider the following tips for creating a successful learning space.
- Room arrangement
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Arrange the room so your child (ren) can be observed and supervised from any point of the room.
- Create a quiet space or a calming corner for your child(ren) to self-regulate.
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- Designated space
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Have a designated table, desk, movable box, crate or tray for your child(ren).
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Designate an area for Google Meets so they are not disruptive to those nearby.
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- Materials
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Gather a variety of materialsfor your child(ren).
- Headphones for Google Meet sessions.
- Notebook for writing in.
- Pencil and eraser for writing activities.
- Scissors for cutting.
- Manipulatives for math activities.
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Make materials easily accessible to your child(ren).
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Do not allow food and drinks by school-provided materials including Chromebooks.
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If you have a small space, try storing the materials in a caddy or on a rollable cart.
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- Stimuli
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Make sure there are not too many things on the walls or in the room that could be overwhelming or distracting to your child(ren).
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- Visuals
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Use visuals to support and inform your child(ren) such as:
- Visual schedule.
- Labels on materials.
- Feelings posters/problem-solving poster.
- Materials checklist.
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- Room arrangement
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If you have a specific parenting question or concern that you would like a Parenting Educator to help with, please submit your question online.
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Contact
Nichol Michels
ECFE Parenting Educator for Pre-K to Grade 3Phone: 612-444-1441
Email: nichol.michels@ahschools.usTawnya Heinsohn
ECFE Parenting Educator for Pre-K to Grade 3Phone: 763-634-1880
Email: tawnya.heinsohn@ahschools.usStacy Handland
ECFE Parenting Educator for Pre-K to Grade 3Phone: 612-424-1220
Email: stacy.handland@ahschools.us
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